puzzle about 5 minutes

- ["Designer Sui, bring me some Indian bread!"] is "NAAN, ANNA!"
- [Lays eyes on a Latin verb?] is SEES "ESSE."
- ["Bus driver on 'The Simpsons,' blow your horn!"] is "TOOT, OTTO!"
- [Tire out those digging up dirt on your political campaign?] is POOP OPPO.
all four of these eight-letter vowel/consonant inversions are crossed at symmetric places by the alternating four-letter version of those letters: [Grandma] NANA, mobutu SESE seko, the band TOTO, and [Cops, in slang] POPO. i did not know the slang term, and it contributed to a real problem in the california area of the grid for a while. but more on that later.
what's the contest answer? well, we're supposed to anagram those eight letters into a common unit of measurement. NASETOPO anagrams to TEASPOON, so there you have it. i wouldn't be satisfied with a TEASPOON of OX-TAIL soup, but maybe DONDER would.
gnarly bits:
- that aforementioned california area. [Non-native Hawaiian], or HAOLE, crossed [Posh chip source] TARO (really? but it's so ... tasteless) and GAEL garcia bernal of the motorcycle diaries. the L was not happening for me; i sort of assumed that if the answer were, in fact, L, matt would use a more accessible clue there. nope—he got me. i had to google.
- also in that section: ORO, clued as [Bacardi ___ (popular rum)]. this clue, and the clue for TIO [___ Pepe (sherry brand)] also did me no favors, since i don't drink liquor and know essentially nothing about any kind of alcohol other than wine.
- matt springs one of his answer-specific traps on us at 1a: [Cusack of "Say Anything," "High Fidelity," and "Grosse Pointe Blank"]. why would he redundantly give us all three of those movies which very famously star JOHN cusack? because they also feature his sister JOAN, the actual correct answer.
- it wasn't hard to figure out that the H was wrong, because right below it is ALVA myrdal, the 1982 nobel peace prize winner, and nothing starts with HV. except i had ALMA myrdal (maybe i was thinking of ALMA mahler), and ... wait, nothing starts with HM either. certainly not a [Legendary island], right? what was that island in gulliver's travels with the houyhnhnhms? (apparently it didn't have a name.) that's what i thought was going on, because i had a whole lotta consonants for 3d (including N for the theme answer before i realized that it was the four-letter spelling of NAN that was required): HMNL_N with the unknown sherry brand. but i got it all sorted out after i changed to NAAN; the island is AVALON.
- speaking of AVALON, [Toyota makes them] is a clue in this puzzle... but for SCIONS, not the toyota AVALON.
- [Marked by madness] is CHAOTIC, not DAFT or MENTALLY UNBALANCED or anything like that. nearby in the grid is the colorful and similar ATWITTER.
- very tough clue: [Buffalo, for example] isn't about the city or the animal, it's about the buffalo NICKEL, which i only know about because of the play american buffalo by david mamet, about a plot to rob a numismatist. mmm, numismatist.
- [Coffee shop cylinder] is a TIP JAR, not a mug or a sugar pourer or even the stirring straw which some coffee shops use. crossing the J is OUIJA, the [Game where the medium is the message?].
- not hard, but it made me smile: ["IRAQI COURT DELAYS TRIAL OF SHOE ___" (recent Denver Post headline)] is, of course, TOSSER. i love the iraqi shoe-TOSSER. here's the video.