October 15, 2009

"Go Away," by Lee Glickstein

Lee Glickstein and Joon Pahk were working on a theme together, and then an L.A. Times crossword was published with the reverse theme concept. So Lee took the theme entries they'd been considering and wrote a story instead:

Al Rivera prowled the Belgian beach with a bottle of Coppertone in his hand, looking for quick relief from a broken heart. The OD doctor at a Brussels drug clinic, he was dumped the day before by a nurse, his "OD time girl," who mused that the OD vibrations and excitations weren't enough to keep them together.

Spotting a likely cutie alone on a blanket, he sidled over and purred, "It takes two to tan, baby." She smiled, which gave him the opportunity to run his follow-up line, "Wow, you are more gorgeous then any of the girls I've ogled on the Internet."

She welcomed him onto her blanket where they hit it off, talked about their lives, then used the suntan lotion to get closer. But Al blundered. Responding to his question about what such a lovely girl was doing alone at the beach, she said that she was actually waiting for Dot, her friend, who should be along shortly. Al said, "Wow! A threesome!"

And that was the end of that.

"You are obviously not my long term Al, nor my short term Al," she huffed. "This lady diva won't fall for your man smoothie Belgian con. I'd rather put on my car pants and drive home, play with my fun stick, and drink myself into a stupor on a Ryan sling or three than spend another minute with you.

"In other words, die, Rivera!"

Can you find the 15 theme fills in this story? (Don't give the answers away in the comments, please.)