NYT 8:29
LAT 8:25
PI 7:39
BG 6:48
CS 5:49All righty, folks, this is the New York Times crossword that will be on The Simpsons Sunday night, when Lisa goes to a crossword tournament; Merl Reagle and Will Shortz are celebrity guest voices, right up there with the likes of Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr. There is Homer's [Exclamation from a blockhead], D'OH, at 35-Across. And BART is clued as the public transit system, [Driving alternative in S.F.]. (For an actual Simpsons-themed puzzle, do Merl's Philadelphia Inquirer crossword.) The hidden message in the puzzle may be a spoiler for a plot point in the show, though it's more or less revealed in the synopsis for the episode (click and drag to see the white text: DUMB DAD SORRY FOR HIS BET runs along the diagonal.
Because of the tie-in message, there were certain constraints on the construction—hence, more black squares, short entries, and clunky answers than are typical for a Sunday NYT. The theme entries are all puns on famous people's names, as hinted at by the title, "Sounds Like Somebody I Know":
- ["Loverboy" actress who made the cast sick?] is MARISA PTOMAINE (Tomei). Terrible clue, as she was not a lead character in that movie and nobody saw it. Seriously. It grossed $53,000 total. Why is this movie in a clue? Will Lisa Simpson have the same complaint I do?
- [Seance-loving crime writer?] is RAYMOND CHANNELER (Chandler).
- [Hall of Fame golfer who invented the all-plastic club?] would be ARNOLD POLYMER (Palmer).
- [All-telling gossip queen who repeats everything she hears?] is RONA PARROT (Barrett). "All-telling" sounds awkward; can't "tell-all" describe a person?
- [Avant-garde composer who sat around a lot?] is ERIK SETTEE (Satie). I think Satie and Barrett both are now more famous within crosswords than without.
- [Passionate tennis star?] is MONICA ZEALOUS (Seles). Zealous. is a great word and Z's a great letter.
- [Moscow V.I.P. who liked to cook on a ship?] is NIKITA CRUISE CHEF (Khrushchev).
- ["I have no face cards" actress?] is LINDSAY LOW HAND (Lohan), as in having a low poker hand.
If ["Rats!"] clues OH, HELL, then INA shouldn't also be clued [Hell ___ handbasket]. One hell per crossword, dammit! That is The Hell Rule of Crosswords.
Tough, tricky, twisty, unusual, or obscure things:
- [Attorney's favorite sweets?] are TORTES. Get it? Torts and tortes?
- DMASS, or D-Mass., is an [Abbr. after Ted Kennedy's name].
- RESEAU is a [Meshed foundation in lace]. This time, "meshed" means "like a mesh" and not Meshed, the city in Iran.
- ["O.S.S." star, 1946] is Alan LADD. I bet that movie grossed more than Loverboy, even at 1946 ticket prices.
- [Laying on of hands?] can amount to a BACKRUB.
- [Yul Brynner died the same day as ___ Welles (odd fact)] clues ORSON. I wonder if this gets mentioned in The Simpsons, because it's an odd sort of clue.
- [Yaw relative, on an aircraft] is ROLL. If yawing is rolling to one side, what does it mean when a plane rolls?
- A [Destroyer] is a RUINER, only that's an -ER word one seldom hears.
- [Freeboot] means MARAUD. Did everyone remember that from the Saturday puzzle?
- [Swamps] are MORASSES. Neither tough nor obscure—I just like the word morass.
- [Interstate sight] is a MOTOR INN. Old-school terminology! This reference defines it as "an urban motel usually having several stories."
- [Guy who digs fossils, slangily] is a BONE MAN. Have you heard this term before?
- [American Beauty pest] is a ROSE SLUG. Anyone else try to turn this into some sort of BUG?
- [Gallantry-in-war medals: Abbr.] are DFCS, or the plural of Distinguished Flying Cross.
- [Tree with serrate leaves], 3 letters—are you gonna choose OAK or ELM? The oak has lobed leaves, whereas the ELM has zigzag serrations at the edges of its leaves.
- [It's void in Vichy] clues the French NUL. Apparently it can also mean "hopeless" or "useless." German also comes into play—SEHR is [Ilse's "very"].
- [English duke ___ Gaunt] clues the 6-letter partial, JOHN OF.
- [Odd morsel] is my favorite old bit of crosswordese, the ORT. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you may have heard my tale of using ort in a high-school term paper and confusing the teacher. Yes, I was already a crossword nerd by that age.
- The name of [Iron Man co-creator Larry] LIEBER is unfamiliar to me.
- [Eager beaver's assertion] is I CAN! "Ooh, ooh! I'll do it!" wouldn't fit into four squares.

- HOME RUN HITTER is Barry [Bonds, for one]. Homer is the dad, of course.
- A DOG OF FLANDERS is an [1872 novel]. Homer calls Ned Flanders by his last name. ("Stupid sexy Flanders.")
- SELMA, ALABAMA is the famous [1965 march site]. Selma is one of Marge's sisters.
- SIDEBURNS are [Elvis features]. Does any minor character ever call Mr. Burns "Montgomery" or "Monty"?
- SAUSAGE PATTY is [Breakfast option]. Patty is Marge and Selma's sister.
- The TEXAS A&M AGGIES are [Archrivals of the Longhorns (with ampersand)]. Maggie is the baby girl in the family, and she has not outgrown that pacifier in all her 18 years of infancy.
- FROM ARGENTINA is clued [Born in Buenos Aires, perhaps]. It's not a truly crossword-worthy phrase, but what else includes Marge's name and is crossword-worthy?

Favorite clues:
- ["Poor man's bananas"] are PAPAWS. Strange thing to learn.
- [Some have two arms and a tail, but no legs] refers to SHIRTS.
- [It's quite a shock] of hair means a MOP.
- [Sweet drink from the Persian for "rose water"] is JULEP. I never knew where the word came from.
- [Inspiration for Scotland Yard and the FBI] is the French SURETE.
- An [Oxbow] is a MEANDER. Who doesn't love geographic formations like these?
- [Lovers, literally] are AMATEURS. Etymological fun!
- [Gibson girl?] is tennis great ALTHEA Gibson.

- 25A. [Snack named for its New York place of origin] is BUFFALO WINGS. A water buffalo is an animal, and water wings are those flotation devices wrapped around a small child's upper arms.
- 63D. [NYC's Belt ___] is a PARKWAY. A water park is a place with swimming pools and slides, and a river is a waterway.
- 44D. [They usually peak in October] means FALL COLORS. Niagara Falls is a waterfall, and watercolors are paints.
- 65A. [The Kirov, for one] is a BALLET COMPANY. Water ballet is...more or less the same thing as synchronized swimming, isn't it? The water company is the utility that provides your municipal water service.
- [Maison entrance] is PORTE, French for "door."
- [Area crossing the nave] in a cathedral is the TRANSEPT.
- NACELLES are [Engine housings]. Between that and the ICC, or [Former RR watchdog], it wasn't so easy to see that [Brittle] was CRUNCHY at 91-Down. (At 88-Down, it's CRISP, too.)
- [Phil or Giant] means a Philadelphia Phillie or a San Francisco Giant in the National League—an NL'ER.
- ["Peer Gynt Suite" dancer] is ANITRA, one of those names I know only from crosswords.
- SONORA is [Home of the Yaqui].
- [One bounce, on the diamond] is A HOP. I'm not wild about the indefinite article being included in the answer.

- QUAKER CROATS are [The Society of Friends in Bosnia?].
- "Killer abs" become KILLER CRABS, or [Movie-monster decapods?]. Decapods are 10-legged critters.
- How often does the word "editor" get played with in a crossword? LETTERS TO THE CREDITOR are [IOU notes?].
- Sherman Oaks is a suburban area of L.A. SHERMAN CROAKS is [Union general's obit?].